The Networking Introvert

by R.C. Lewis

This isn't the first time we've talked about introverted writers here on From the Write Angle. It probably won't be the last. I see frequent comments on Twitter indicating a belief that the vast majority of writers are introverts. I'm not sure that's true, because I know an awful lot of extroverted authors. (I'm looking at you, Mindy McGinnis.) But the introverts definitely make up a solid contingent.

And I'm one of them.

To be fair, I've given myself enough practice faking it that people don't always realize I'm an introvert (or that I'm shy—yes, I'm a two-fer). That doesn't necessarily make it easier on my end, especially when I fall back into old habits that need breaking.

Natalie Whipple at the TRANSPARENT
launch. Isn't she adorable?

Last year, I moved back to my home state after spending eight years living elsewhere. My first forays into writing began while living out-of-state, so I never had reason to get plugged into the local writing scene. In particular, the local kid-lit writing scene ... which in these parts is significant.

After pushing through a school year at a new school with a new curriculum (and, oh yeah, a newly acquired agent and publishing contract, too), I realized I'd let myself settle into my little cocoon of home-work-internet. Nothing wrong with that, maybe. You can accomplish a lot on the internet, and "work" has me spending a lot of time with my target audience.

But sometimes you need to get out into the real world. Opportunities in this industry often arise because of connections. And besides, it'd be nice to have friends who understand the industry more than my math department does ... especially if a few of those friends didn't live a thousand or so miles away.

I realized it was once again time to push out of my comfort zone. I used one of my online connections to make a local connection and found out a local author was having a book launch two days later. (An author whose blog countdown widget I'd made, not realizing she was local. Small world.) I'd never been to a book launch or signing in my life—sad, right?

Me with Natalie at the signing afterwards, proving I
really was there and spoke to someone.

Okay, universe. Baptism by fire it is. I carpooled to the book launch with four women who were essentially strangers to me, ranging from published to querying.

Talking to them was instantly comfortable. It wasn't awkward, and the launch wasn't scary. We had fun.

Even better, I broke that shell. Sure, being social at big events still takes a lot of energy. When the next event comes around (one of the carpooling women has the third in her trilogy coming out this week) I can go with even less anxiety. I already know some people who'll be there. Writers supporting other writers ... it's fantastic.

And friends are a good thing. Even in real life.

R.C. Lewis teaches math to teenagers—sometimes in sign language, sometimes not—so whether she's a science geek or a bookworm depends on when you look. That may explain why her characters don't like to be pigeonholed. Coincidentally, R.C. enjoys reading about quantum physics and the identity issues of photons. You can find her on Twitter (@RC_Lewis) and at Crossing the Helix. And every once in a while, you can find her in the real world, too.

Sitting in the Hot Seat

by MarcyKate Connolly

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Writing conference time—when agents and editors crawl out of their caves to hunt and forage for new, tasty manuscripts.

You know you want in on that action.

There are many reasons to attend a writing conference—the workshops, the camaraderie, the chance to schmooze—but the one I hear most is the opportunity to get your precious manuscript in front of agents and editors. That’s right, the infamous pitch and critique sessions.

I’ve had the good fortune to attend a couple of conferences and each time have opted to pay the extra fee for a manuscript critique. For the pitch sessions, they usually listen to your verbal pitch then ask you questions about the story or explain why it did or did not resonate with them. With the manuscript critiques, they read about 10 pages and your query in advance and provide a mix of written and verbal feedback. Personally, I’ve found the critique sessions to be both valuable and occasionally surprising. These professionals have insights that may never occur to our writing peers and even if their critique stings, it will likely serve you well in the long run.

But rest assured, it is not easy. In fact, it can be downright scary.

So, if you do decide to put yourself in the hot seat at a conference this year, here are some tips to help you avoid the potential pitfalls and to get the most out of your session:

1) Drop your expectations. Yes, it’s easy to get swept up in the lovely day dream that you will meet the perfect agent or editor over the pitch table and s/he will sign you on the spot and you’ll all go and live happily ever after.

Honestly? This is highly unlikely to happen. If you sign up for the crit or pitch sessions at a conference, be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons—namely, to learn something. You can of course hope that you’ll get a request (which does happen frequently), just temper that hope with a healthy dose of reality. Otherwise, you’ll walk away disappointed and you may even end up tuning out valuable advice since your focus is on the wrong thing.

2) Be prepared. Print out the sample the agent or editor is critiquing (or your pitch if you go that route). Have a notebook and a pen that works—test it and be sure (there’s nothing worse than scrambling to write down that brilliant gem of feedback only to find out your pen’s a dud!). Bring business cards with your contact info and, for bonus points, your book title and logline printed on the back. They see so many faces that they may not connect your name after the conference is over, but if they took the time to critique part of your manuscript, they might just remember the title and what it was about.

Also, don’t forget to prepare yourself. Get a good night’s sleep (says the girl who never sleeps)—it will put you in a better, more receptive mood to hear feedback. Wear something nice that makes you feel confident, yet comfortable. And it pains me to say this, but don’t overload on the caffeine. A person twitching badly enough to shake the table could freak out even the nicest editor.

3) Be delightful. Even if you don’t feel delightful, fake it until you make it. Chances are, you’re going to be crazy nervous. You will sweat like you just ran a marathon even though you’ll be sitting the whole time. Your palms will be disgusting. You may even feel dizzy or nauseous. No, this is not a fatal disease—it’s perfectly normal. You will not be the first, nor last, person to give that agent or editor a clammy handshake or a stuttered greeting.

Take it from a fellow introvert—get over it. They don’t bite. Say hi, ask them how they’re enjoying the conference. Thank them for taking the time to meet with you. A little small talk can go a long way.

The best piece of advice I can give here is to stop focusing on yourself and focus on your book. That’s why you’re there in the first place, right? Yes, you are still going to worry, but keeping the focus where it belongs will help.

4) LISTEN. And take notes. These people have taken the time to give you thoughtful feedback, so even if you don’t agree, bite your tongue and listen to what they have to say. They may surprise you.

One of the most common things I’ve noticed when talking to others who had a critique or pitch session was that the second they heard something that made them feel defensive, they shut down. They missed everything else that was said. Writers are always complaining that they don’t know why they get rejected, because agents and editors don’t usually provide feedback in rejections. Now here’s an industry professional handing them reasons on a platter, and it’s wasted. Such a shame. Don’t be that guy, OK?

5) Ask questions. This is your golden opportunity to find out what an industry professional thinks about your pitch or pages. Be sure you have a list of questions prepared and printed out. Sometimes you’ll find they answer most or even all of them as they give you feedback, which is why listening is so important. If you’re paying attention, something they’ve said may spark a new question or two and you won’t be left with nothing to say when it’s your turn to speak.

6) Be enthusiastic. I don’t mean you should gush about what an AMAZINGLY talented writer you are, but more that you should not be afraid to love your story and to let that show. You believe in it, right? Well then act like it. Your attitude about your work speaks volumes to the person across the table. It’s OK to show the love, in fact, it could be infectious. Because if you don’t love it, why should anyone else? But if you do, well, maybe they’ll take a closer look.

7) Be grateful. This is more important than you may think. It can also be more difficult than you expect, especially if the agent or editor in question had particularly critical feedback for you. Connections can take you places, so being unpleasant or clearly unhappy with them at the end is a bad idea. They might remember you—and not in a good way. Don’t burn those bridges. On the flipside, taking a critique or rejection on the chin may actually impress them.

So, have you been to a conference and opted for the critique or pitch sessions? How did it go? Leave your tips in the comments!

MarcyKate Connolly writes young adult fiction and becomes a superhero when sufficiently caffeinated. When earthbound, she blogs at her website and ferrets out contests on Twitter.

The Perks of Being an Introverted Writer

by J. Lea Lopez

In my last post, I confessed that I am both shy and an introvert, explained the difference between the two, and talked about how those traits have created challenges for me as a writer. Today I'm back to talk about the positives.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, or being shy. Let's be clear about that. If there's some aspect of one of those things that causes you such distress or disadvantage that you decide you need to change it, that's great. Go for it. But introversion is simply a different way of thinking and behaving. It isn't something to be fixed. You might not realize that in today's society, where so much emphasis is placed on teamwork and being outgoing, despite the many benefits of quiet solitude. (For more on this, read this excellent article on the "New Groupthink" and the inherent bias against introvert tendencies.)

It's also important to understand that introverts, like extraverts, aren't all the same. My tendencies may differ from yours or anyone else's, even if we all present as introverted. There are calm introverts, but there are also impulsive introverts (just as there are both calm and anxious extraverts). I think some of the things I'll be talking about are fairly common experiences among introverts, but I'm talking about them from a strictly personal point of view.

So how does being an introvert help my writing?

Dialogue

I mentioned in the last post that many introverts hate small talk. I know I certainly do. One of my fellow introverts and writers, Ty Unglebower, spells out all the reasons why it makes us uncomfortable in this post. I share many of those feelings, and I also feel the same way about dialogue in writing. I tend to be as minimal as possible with dialogue, and I hate to waste a word. You won't catch my characters engaging in meaningless small talk, unless it's done as an effect - like it's obvious to the reader that one or more characters is talking just to hear themselves talk, or because they can't bear silence instead. In my opinion, every word of dialogue should be meaningful in some way or another. I pride myself on dialogue that is realistic but not real. I kind of obsess over it, in fact. If I write too many back-and-forth volleys of dialogue, my pinky finger gets a little twitchy over the backspace key. And not to sound too proud, but I have been complimented on my dialogue, so I guess my distaste for small talk is working for me.

Nuance and Subtext

I may not speak much in a group setting, but I listen. And I watch. And I connect dots other people might not even see. I'll notice how Janet's opinions always align with George's, and how she smiles when George calls her out for a good idea. I'll be the one who sees the game of footsie between George and Mary under the the conference room table, and I'll feel bad for Janet. More than just the non-verbal communication taking place between people in the room, I often hear subtext in what's being said, or how it's being said. By the end of a discussion, I could tell you not only what was said, but a little bit about the personalities of the people involved. George manipulates others to get his way. Janet is overly agreeable toward anyone who gives her praise. Mary is stone-faced, serious, and commands much of the conversation even as her under-the-table games with George inch away from G-rated and more towards R-rated. She's always in control, and she likes it.

I try to incorporate these different layers of action and meaning into my writing. There is a time for straightforward action and dialogue, but there is also a time and place for more nuanced, subtle clues. Sometimes one small detail, enlarged and given the right treatment, can change the way a scene reads.

I can write without writing

I live in my head, in my thoughts. Even in a crowded room, or at work, or driving in the car, I can be deep in thought about anything besides what's going on around me. So while being an introvert means I often take a long time to think before I speak (and therefore speak little), it is this same aspect that allows me to work out minute details of my stories before I ever set pen to paper. It takes me ages to write a first draft because I do so much think-writing and not nearly as much actual-writing. But once the first draft is done, it's pretty clean.

Some people pound out a first draft in four or five months, let it rest a bit, then spend another six or nine months (or more) revising, getting feedback, and editing through dozens of drafts. I'll take close to a year (sometimes more) just finishing the first draft, but that's often pretty close to how the final product will look. It's not necessarily a better method, just different. There are times where I wish I could knock out a draft in mere weeks, but I can't. I've finally decided that's OK and I don't beat myself up about it.

I'm cautious

I'm a fairly calm introvert, though I'm prone to moments of anxiety about certain things (which I think mostly stems from my shyness) and this is actually a good thing. It keeps me from jumping into things too fast, before I'm ready. Sure, maybe I could've sold lots of books last year if I had self-published then. But with the benefit of hindsight, I know now that I had ZERO clue about anything last year. I might've managed to put out a nice, well-formatted, clean e-book (or I might NOT), but I wouldn't have had any type of marketing strategy and would've hated trying to navigate the marketing aspect nearly blind. I probably would've been miserable.

I spent last year reading, absorbing, watching others with more knowledge and skill navigate their way through the new indie and traditional publishing realms. I also saw some people behave in ways that served as examples of what NOT to do. I learned a lot. Some of it assuaged certain fears and aggravated others. I'm in a place now where I feel I know enough to take the leap, and if I fail or succeed, I'm confident that I'll have done so to the best of my ability. Which brings me to my last point:


I want my word to have integrity.

I mean this both in the sense of honesty in the things I say and do, but also in the written words and stories I create. I've never had trouble changing the way I think, or my opinions on certain things when faced with evidence that speaks to me and points out the error of old ways. I want to bring this to my writing as well. If I get pretty unanimous and authentic feedback that something isn't working in my writing, I'll change it. If I fail, or if I succeed, I want it to be because of the choices I've made, and nothing else. Not because I kissed ass--or didn't. Not because I whored myself on Twitter despite feeling bad about it--or didn't. Not because I slept my way to the top--or didn't. (Seriously, that doesn't happen in writing/publishing, does it? Because if it does, let me know. My husband might make an exception to our vows if it means lots of money for us..... Kidding!) I feel about my success or failure with writing the same way I feel about my life in general: I'm responsible, no one else, and I will always strive to make good, honest, informed decisions and put out the best product I know how.

What are some of your own quirks or traits that have positively influenced your writing, even if they're otherwise considered negative traits by some?

A Writer's Confession: I'm Shy and an Introvert

by J. Lea Lopez

I blog. I tweet. I Facebook. I also belong to almost half a dozen social networks for writers (some I participate in more frequently than others). I don't usually mind sharing some rather personal anecdotes when asked. For those familiar with me via my "public" online presence, you might also know that I write erotica without a pseudonym, never hesitate to speak up with advice or encouragement when my writer friends need it, flirt with strangers on Twitter and point out the hidden sexual innuendo in everything, and just last week I let loose with a scathing judgment of my own genre and a small group of writers within it.

Why am I telling you all this? Because despite that laundry list of putting-myself-out-there-ness, I have a confession to make.

I am an introvert. And you know what else? I'm a bit on the shy side as well. Does that surprise you? Let's talk about introversion and shyness, as it relates to being a writer, and then you might be able to see how all of those things I listed might actually highlight my introversion, without any of us ever realizing it.

First, I'll state that this isn't a post about marketing or promotion for introverts (our own Mindy McGinnis touched on some of that already, and there are other sites dedicated to the topic). This is just a tiny peek into an introverted mind so all my fellow introvert writers can say "I'm not alone!" And who knows, maybe some of you will glean some insights into the introvert mind that could help you write a character or two.

Introversion and shyness are not the same thing. You can be shy and and an extravert. You can be an introvert without being shy. Susan Cain spells out the difference quite nicely, and succinctly, as such:

Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, and introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments.

I won't lie, my shyness and introversion is a one-two punch that creates a lot of challenges for me as a writer. This blog post alone is proof of that. I've sort of stumbled onto a dry patch in terms of knowing what to blog about. I put a shout-out on Twitter asking for ideas, and then I also added that I thought my introversion might be hindering me in this area. In groups, I'm often slow to speak, or even completely silent, because I like to think for a long time and make sure I'm 100% sure of my opinion before I state it. I'm prone to moments of self-doubt where I'm sure there's nothing I could say that anyone would be interested in reading (don't even ask me how long it takes to write the first draft of a novel—good lawdy lawd!). I've been better about it recently, but my personal blog has sometimes gone weeks, even months, without a new post for this reason.

This same fear of negative judgment is (mostly) what kept me from self-publishing my first novel last year. It's not ready. It's not ready. I can't do it. Maybe it is ready. But what if it's not? What if people don't like it? I can't market. I can promote the hell out of other people, but not myself. What if my marketing attempts make me look like an ass? All of these things, and more, absolutely paralyzed me with fear. I often get great feedback from beta readers and writers whose opinions I respect. But my first instinct is embarrassment, which I quickly push aside. The second instinct is to seek out another, more critical reader. Why? To tell me I suck? It's not that I don't believe people when they say good things about my writing. I'm just a perfectionist, and I'm always looking for some other way to improve. And maybe I am looking for that one negative opinion to satisfy my own inner critic. Because I need to be right.

Do you know any introverts? Do they sometimes come across as know-it-alls, stubborn not only in their opinions, but also in asserting the "rightness" of those opinions? Not all introverts are this way, but a lot are, myself included. So forgive us, please. It's not that we think we're superior to anyone else in that way. But we spend so much time on reflection, introspection, and being an objective observer to (as opposed to participant in) the interactions around us that we're often so sure we know what's really going on in any given situation. And for me, that includes being sure I'm right about my own plainness.

Don't mistake this for simple low self-confidence, either. I like what I write. I even think I'm pretty damn fabulous sometimes. I just fear that other people won't like it as much as I do. Is that splitting hairs? Maybe. But I live with this type of cognitive dissonance every day. It's not one or the other, it's both—I'm confident in who I am, what I write, etc., but I still care an awful lot about what other people will think.

After I mentioned my introversion and lack of blog ideas on Twitter, one friend (thanks, Lela!) suggested I blog about my struggles with being an introverted writer (hence this post). She said I could talk about the social media mechanisms I use to cope with my introvert tendencies and anxieties. I thought to myself, What if the answer is 'I don't cope'? Of course you do, Lela said. And I got to thinking about it.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen me mention the #goatposse. They're a group of writers who support and encourage each other, chat about writing (and silly things, too), post funny pictures of goats, and just have a good old time without taking ourselves very seriously. The #goatposse makes Twitter a lot of fun for me. I was sort of "enveloped" in the #goatposse phenomenon. I didn't really make a huge effort to insert myself into it—it's not really in my introvert nature to just jump into any group. I let myself be swept up in the fun of it. I've "met" some fun new people through the group. People I can "let my hair down" around. I chose the people I follow very carefully, and I interact with a lot of them (not just the #goatposse) on a fairly regular basis.

I've created my own introvert haven, right there on Twitter. I feel more comfortable speaking my mind, opening up, and sharing things with people I've come to know and like. Even online, in an otherwise very public place. It's also easier to let that sliver of extravert within me come out to play online, be it here, on Twitter, Facebook, etc. Yes, I put my real name and my real face online, but I'm (slightly) less anxious about looking like an idiot online than I would be in a face to face situation. Yes, more of my apparent incongruity there, but that's how my brain works.

Am I being deceitful, disingenuous, or otherwise "acting" if I behave online in a manner I probably wouldn't in "real" life? Absolutely not. You won't catch me giving praise where I don't believe it's due, saying things I don't mean (so pay attention to an introvert's carefully chosen silences), flirting with you if I don't think you're fun to flirt with (hey, I'm married, it's just fun and games!), or conforming to any type of groupthink because I want to be accepted and liked—even though I do want to be accepted and liked. Make sense?

Hang on with me just a bit longer, here. The navel-gazing is almost over, I promise. Going back to the list of things I mentioned at the beginning of the post. Can you see yet how they're all both indicative of and a way I cope with my shyness and introversion as a writer?

• Social networks—I belong to many. I'm more active on the ones where I've managed to build a close-knit network of trusted and respected peers (as opposed to a huge network of less well-acquainted contacts). I can get both the criticism and encouragement I desire.
• Writing erotica without a pseudonym—Doesn't seem like a very shy thing to do, does it? My quiet pride and self-confidence (definitely an introvert characteristic) wins out over my shyness here. Love it or hate it, you'll know I wrote it.
• Playful online flirting, joking around, and general silliness (such as with my #goatposse)—The obvious indication is that humor distracts both me and others from real issues—like whether I'm a judgmental bitch, or a talentless hack, or whatever my fear du jour might be. But it's also a great way to just relax and have fun. It relieves any pressure about having to "perform" (i.e., be an extravert) in a way I'm not comfortable doing. Plus we all need to laugh at ourselves once in a while.
• Sharing personal tidbits, giving advice when asked, incessantly pointing out sexual innuendo, and occasionally being painfully blunt—Yes, all of these things are related and belong in the same category. While introverts may tend toward the quiet end of the spectrum (and we generally hate—HATE—small talk), we can still talk your ear off when we're interested in or feel strongly about a topic.
• I mentioned a "scathing judgment" at the beginning of this post, which I stated on my own blog, knowing it might be an unpopular opinion, and could cost me maybe some respect, maybe some readers, I wasn't sure. I almost didn't post anything about it at all. It took me months before I did. But I did. Scared of negative judgment? Yes. But passionate and willing to defend my opinion? Absolutely. Again, there's that dichotomy of confidence bordering on arrogance and deep-rooted fear of judgment.
• I value honesty, and I'll give it to you if you want it. And if someone asks for my help, I have a near-pathological inability to say no. It makes me feel good, it makes me feel needed.
• I joke around about the unintended sexual innuendo I see everywhere—it's funny, of course, but this stuff goes through my head every moment of every day (right along with some of the judgments I mentioned a moment ago). When I point it out, you get my mostly uncensored thoughts at the moment—something that's pretty rare for me to give.
• And the part about sharing intensely personal bits of info? If there's one thing only you take away from this post, either for your writing or your real-life interactions with your favorite introvert, let it be this: learn to ask the right questions. I'll willingly share just about anything with anyone, if I'm asked, often despite my own shyness. We introverts probably won't offer up too many juicy tidbits of our own volition, but a few well-timed, appropriate questions can open the floodgates.

I guess I have coped with my shyness and introversion fairly well in terms of making connections with people online. I'll have a brand new set of challenges to overcome later this year as I finally take the plunge into self-publishing and will be working on that self-promotion thing. Don't take this post the wrong way—there isn't anything wrong with being shy or an introvert. There are a hell of a lot of things right with it, and it helps me in my writing just as much as it challenges me. But I think that's a post for another day.

Are you an introvert writer? (If you are, you'll probably just nod your head and move along without commenting ;-) ha) What challenges does introversion or shyness pose in your writing life—either in trying to capture an introverted character on the page or overcoming challenges of your own introverted nature?