Dontcha Know and Other Vernacular Issues for Writers

by Cat Woods

Minnesota Speaker 1 according to the world: So, yeah, dad and me, we went down ta da park de udder day fer a bite ta eat. It was a fer piece, dontcha know.

Minnesota Speaker 2's illogical response that the rest of the world believes happens in every conversation: Ooofdah, dat is a fer piece.

Now, I get that I'm not "from Minnesota" in the traditional sense. I was made in Japan, born in Seattle and attended seven different schools on the west coast before settling into the great Midwest in the fourth grade. I've been a minority. I was in Washington when Mount Saint Helens blew and didn't realize that seeing the ocean was a big deal because I swam in it every weekend.

And maybe my varied childhood makes it hard for me to swallow the Fargo-esque vernacular that everyone else in the world believes is how all Minne-sooooo-tans speak. Or maybe it's so unpalatable due to the overuse of this vernacular in every portrayal of the Midwest. Either way, I despise this hacked-up version of our language as much as Southerners probably hate seeing "howdy" in every fictitious conversation involving them.

• Truth #1: Every living, breathing person in Minnesota does not say "ooofdah". After residing here for nearly 30 years, I still don't have a feckin' clue what that word means. It only serves to conjure up visions of stodgy, old grandmas in their housecoats and hair rollers leaning to the side of a stained and lumpy couch and letting one rip before uttering the word that is equally grotesque.
• Truth #2: Yes, Minnesota speakers are lazy language users. We "ta" and "fer" all day long. As a speech coach it drives me absolutely batty, and we actually practice correct enunciation during warm ups before competition. "To. To. For. For." I think this should be recited along with the Pledge of Allegiance in elementary schools each morning--and I'm only half joking. 
• Truth #3: Vernacular is a cool way to show character, place or time in writing. But, it can also kill a piece.

Grammar Girl has two fabulous articles on her blog discussing the hows and whens of writing slang and writing dialect, both of which make up the everyday language of certain populations at any given time. Her recommendation is to use such things sparingly and mostly in dialogue.

For instance, "Groovy" quickly places someone (beach bums or druggies?) in the 1970s--although I've only ever heard one Minnesota, college-educated man use this word, and that was in the late 2000s. Use of this word in a current novel could be used to effectively date the story, or to show an intriguing aspect of someone's character--aka the attorney from above.

A delightfully, unexpected example of how to use vernacular showed up in my inbox this morning from Chick Lit Goddess, Isabella Louise Anderson. Her blog post delivers an excerpt from a novel, Dear Carolina, that highlights two very different character voices. From this short plug for a beautiful sounding story, we catch a glimpse of how writers can effectively show social status, education and experience through simple language usage.

But what should writers do about words or phrases or even geographic differences that are nearly impossible to use without confusing a handful of readers or overburdening the majority of our audience with boring explanations?

Conversation 1

• I once used the word sneakers to describe my MC's shoes. A critique partner from a few states away asked, "What's a sneaker?"
• "Tennies."
• "A tennis shoe."
• "But your MC isn't playing tennis. They are called athletic shoes."
• * yeah right. Jimmy slipped on his ATHLETIC SHOES, tied them and headed outside to play. not*

Conversation 2

• "Come over tonight for some taverns."
• "So, we're going to the bar for dinner after meeting at your house?"
• "I think she means sloppy joes."
• "Aren't they called BBQs?"
• "Nah, they're just shredded beef sandwiches, dontcha know."
• "I'll bring the pop."
• "I like Coke."
• "I don't do drugs, but I'd love a soda."
• *i'm ready for coke after this conversation*

Conversation 3

• He climbed in his pickup and headed down the street.
• Collaborator 1: Only farmers drive trucks. A teenager would never drive a truck. Especially to school.
• Collaborator 2: This story takes place in the Midwest. Everyone drives trucks here. Even business professionals drive trucks.
• Collaborator 1: Not here. This would confuse readers. It has to be a car. Either that or you have to tell readers that in other parts of the US, kids who aren't farmers actually drive trucks.
• Even though he wasn't a farmer, he'd always loved driving trucks, as did many of his friends in the Midwest even though kids on the west coast would call him a freak for doing so because nobody in California ever drove trucks unless they were farmers. You see, sometimes things are different in different parts of the country and that's okay even if it feels unusual to some people. Now...where was I? Oh yeah, He climbed into his pickup, cracked a soda and swore never to collaborate on another project again.

Conversation 4

• Your MC cannot be in Carter Elementary. Elementary = kindergarten-4th grade.
• No, it's always k-6.
• Well, ours is k-5, with junior high grades 6-9.
• We don't have junior high. Middle school is 5-8 and high school is 9-12.
• *le sigh*

Based on life experiences and the language in which people use from infancy on, getting simple ideas across can be cumbersome and frustrating for writers. But it shouldn't be. Maybe it's naïve of me to think that readers carry a certain responsibility in using context clues to infer the definition of words they are unfamiliar with. After all, it is a skill we teach kids in school (the elementary, middle, junior and high versions) to help build their vocabularies. In my opinion, writers cannot carry the full burden of describing in detail every little language nuance that might possibly trip up readers from different areas or generations. Yes, we need to write clearly and succinctly. However, we do not need to act as a dictionary.

 

To recap: Writing in heavy dialect risks annoying readers. Novels riddled with "all y'all", "oofdah" and "hey" get old fast. A smattering of well-placed words like "groovy" can lend character to certain characters. As a side note, though, it is very easy to use vernacular, dialect and slang to stereotype characters or date a piece, and this is bad. Very bad. All this said, it is impossible to use completely common words that will alleviate any confusion for every reader because the world is a big place and language is as vast and as varied as the individuals who use it. 

 

So, dear writers, at what point do you strap on your sneakers and run with your word choice? How do you know when your novel's vernacular is too much? When is it not enough? How much description do you use to define potential troublesome words or phrases? How does this vary by age group or genre?

 

Curious minds want to know.

 

Cat Woods has never used the phrase "dontcha know" and ridicules with impunity those who do. She also wonders why the rest of the world quotes the movie Fargo (North Dakota) when making fun of Minnesota dialect. Some day she might write this into a novel, but for now, she's content with blogging at Words from the Woods and supporting the middle grade anthology she was contributing editor for. Tales from the Bully Box is part of a bully prevention campaign that is near and dear to her heart and has its own website at The Bully Box.

5 Tips to Trim your Writing

by Jemi Fraser

Many beginning writers end up with enormous word counts. (If you want to check out my story, it's over on my blog today).

Trimming Tip #1 -- Adjectives & Adverbs

Cut. Cut. Cut. Sure you need a few adjectives, and sometimes they enhance your prose, but be careful! I'm not an especially visual person or writer, but I was floored when I first learned this tip and realized how many adjectives I had in my draft. Nearly every sentence was sprinkled with writerly words that screamed AMATEUR!

Ditto the above advice for adverbs. It's a little easier to edit for these though. Use that handy-dandy Find tool (CTRL F) and search for 'ly'. We all know not all adverbs end in ly, but many do, and this tool makes it easy to spot them. It also takes you out of the flow of reading the story, which is very important when editing. Often replacing your verb/adverb combination with a stronger/more explicit verb makes your sentence stronger.

Trimming Tip #2 -- Cutting Scenes

Whole scenes. As you're editing, ask yourself about the purpose of the scene. If it's not moving the story along, not increasing the tension or the conflict or the stakes, bring out the sword and slash away. Painful, yes, but maybe you can keep some of them as bonus content for visitors to your website. (Make sure the quality is high, after all, there's a reason you're cutting in the first place!)

Trimming Tip #3 -- Filler Words

We all have them. Some of them are more obvious than others. Once I feel pretty good about a draft, I dump my story into Wordle and eliminate all the proper nouns (right click then delete). The bigger the word, the more times it appears. Then use that CTRL F tool to help you find and eliminate as many as you can.

Some words that often appear as fillers:

just, suddenly, again, eyes, look/looked/looks, seemed/seems, feels/felt, smiles/smiled, really, very, maybe, quite, started to...

Trimming Tip #4 -- Qualifiers

Eliminating words and phrases like 'a bit', 'a little', 'sort of', 'seemed to' 'felt like', can all make your writing stronger and, as an added bonus, make your characters less wishy-washy at the same time. If someone's mad, let him/her be all the way mad!

Trimming Tip #5 -- Echoes

This is my Achilles' heel. As the self-proclaimed Queen of Redundancies, I've literally cut thousands of words by eliminating phrases and sentences where I'm repeating information already provided. Trust your readers not to be idiots, they'll get it the first time. (<-- Which is a great example of a sentence including an echo!)

Trimming the fat out of that draft will do nothing but enhance your story. Don't be afraid of that delete key. If it helps, imagine Legolas or Aragorn at your side, sword in hand, as you slash your way to a stronger story!

Do you enjoy the Slash 'n' Burn rounds of editing?

Jemi Fraser is an aspiring author of contemporary romance. She blogs  and tweets while searching for those HEAs.

A Writer's Guide to Getting Your Sexy Back

by +J. Lea Lopez 

Source

To clarify, the sexy you're getting is for your writing. Sorry, I can’t help you with the real thing. Or maybe I can. But that's not a discussion for this space. Ahem. Focus, please.

Whether you’re writing hardcore erotica, sizzling romance, or just a single scene requiring some Tab A into Slot B action, I’m here to help you put your sexiest foot forward. We're going to focus on the language of the scene.

Let’s face it: it’s very easy to write a bad sex scene. You run the risk of clinically sterile language, or the opposite – coarsely pornographic language. There’s also the potential for unintended comedy. I don’t want that to happen to any of you, so I’ve compiled a few guidelines. Note that I didn’t say rules. It’s up to you to decide if/when to use each of these tips. And fergawdsakes, don’t overdo it with any of them!

More descriptors ≠ more sexy

Breasts are not made any more appealing when described as amazingly perky, round, brown sugar-colored globes of desire. Really? Would you say that to your partner, or want it said to you in a moment of passion? ‘Course not. You/they would likely burst into a fit of laughter. It's also important to find the right descriptions. For instance, wet is always preferable to moist. Stick to one, maybe two good descriptors, or let the image stand on its own. This also ties into my next point:

Euphemisms are your enemy

If everyone calls it a cock, there’s probably a good reason. Don’t go trudging through the thesaurus looking for other names for human anatomy. Abandon the aforementioned globes and just call them breasts. Or maybe your character would say tits. Titties and boobies are giggle-worthy and should be avoided at all times, in my opinion.

When in doubt, revert to the standard slang, or DON’T NAME BODY PARTS at all. Yeah, you heard me. She let go a breathy moan as he pushed into her. No need to say what pushed where – we already know.
Here are some tried-and-true anatomical words to use (try not to blush):

• cock
• tits
• ass
• breasts
• dick
• pussy
• clit
• nipples (not nips – please don't say nips)
• cunt

Cunt has become much more mainstream of late, but it's not my personal favorite and I don't think I've ever used it. I rarely even write it because it doesn't hold positive connotations for me. Pussy is weird for me too, but I'll take that over cunt. It takes a very skilled writer to use that word in an erotic context and not make me flinch. That doesn't mean you shouldn't use it, though, if you like it. It's just not for me. I think it even sounds awful. Go ahead, say it out loud (preferably when you’re alone – not on the bus or at work). It’s guttural – all hard consonant sounds. Doesn’t scream sexy to me. Which brings me to my last point for today:

Pay attention to sound

No, not those sounds. Yuck. I’ll leave that for another post. I mean, pay attention to how the words you choose for your scene sound to the ear. I don’t know about you, but even when reading silently to myself, I still hear the words in my head, and, to a lesser extent, feel them in my mouth (oh boy, you’re gonna have a field day with that phrase, I’m sure.)

Never underestimate the sexiness of well-placed alliteration. His thumb slid over the sliver of skin peeking out above the waistband of her jeans. That s sound is just sensual, both to hear and to say, isn’t it?
To me, open, round vowel sounds as well as softer consonant sounds like f, h, and l (to name a few) can be the sexiest. The heat of his breath sends a slow shiver from the nape of her neck to her toes. Mmm, sounds yummy, right?

To contrast, clipped vowels and hard consonant sounds often are less sexy. You’d do well to notice that most of your standard curse words have this characteristic – fuck, shit, bitch, etc. I’m not saying there’ll never be a place for an urgently whispered Fuck me! in your manuscript – there is certainly occasion for something like that. Short, hard-sounding words can convey urgency. But an entire scene, or even just a few sentences, full of those types of words can really kill the mood.

Especially use this guideline any time you’re thinking of some anatomical euphemism. As I mentioned, cunt sounds harsh to me. Words like rod and pole don’t sound particularly sexy either, and even invoke painful images at times. Unless you’re writing some sort of BDSM scene, these are not the images you want to paint in your reader’s mind.

Keep these tips in mind the next time you write a sex scene, and I promise you’ll have something that gets the heat level rising.

Do you have any favorite words that you find super sexy, or words that make you cringe?

J. Lea López is an author who strives to make you laugh at, fall in love with, cry over, and lust after the characters she writes. She welcomes online stalkers as long as they're witty and/or adulatory. Kidding. Maybe. Check for yourself: Twitter, Facebook, Blog. Get help with your sexy scene writing here.
 

Writer's Vertigo

by Cat Woods

Vertigo has been kicking my butt lately. If you've never had it, sacrifice to your god or goddess of choice so that you may never know what the perpetual bed-spins feel like. Seriously, a bout of vertigo is reminiscent of a bad college party, complete with praying to the porcelain god. This last time, it literally flattened me. I spent four, immovable days on my right side and another four feeling tipsy.

Vertigo is an imbalance in the ear that creates a state of dizziness. Usually it is momentary, lasting only about a minute or so, but sometimes it can knock you down for a day. Rarely, it may take a week to regain your footing.

You won't be surprised to know that writing has its own version of vertigo.

SIXTY SECOND VERTIGO: This comes out of nowhere. Walking down the stairs, driving a car, carrying your baby or frying burger for dinner. It is instantaneous--a black hole of time and space that sucker punches you. These are the rejections on the projects we were so certain were perfect. The email response by an agent or editor passing on our work. They throw us off balance and make us stumble in our confidence and passion.

With this kind of vertigo, a pause is all we need to recover. Stop walking. Stop driving. Put down the baby and step away from the stove. As much as these rejections sting, they are a mere blip on the continuum of your writing journey. A pebble in your path, if you will.

DIZZY FOR A DAY: This type of vertigo usually comes with vomiting. Lovely image, I know, but you writers will appreciate the injustice of it. The last time I had day-long vertigo was a snowy winter day. Dear Hubby was gone, school was cancelled and six inches of snow blanketed our three stall driveway. My plans for the day did not include hours on the tile floor in the hallway where I happened to land after smashing into a doorway I didn't see in my black fog. My poor daughter spent her "day off" of school exchanging ice cream pails every time I opened my eyes or turned my head.

I equate this vertigo to the feeling of queasiness we get when those near and dear to us don't quite climb on board with our recent writing projects. These are the rejections on a revise and resend. They are the scathing lukewarm comments by our critique partners/best friends/family. Or worse yet, their indifference. They are the first pass notes from our editors/agents asking us to change the MC, the plot and the setting. In short, they are debilitating to our egos and leave us breathless, wondering where to go from here. They are the detours set before us. They slow us down and ask that we expend more time and energy than we initially wanted to.

WEEK-LONG WEAKNESS: Not being able to stand, sit, turn your head, eat or open your eyes for days on end is psychologically debilitating. "When," you cry--literally--"will this end? Will the world ever stop spinning?"

It does, eventually. But re-entering the land of the living is a tentative endeavor at best. Every move you make is slow and filled with trepidation. You wonder when you will fall, which movement will send you crashing back to the earth, losing your faith and your breakfast simultaneously.

Yes, writers, we will endure hardships. We will face washed out bridges, mudslides and dead ends. We will enter tunnels of darkness that disorient us and make us question whether the pain is worth the unknown destination. We will face the decision to keep walking or to turn back. If the former, we will knowingly enter a partnership with more vertigo. If the latter, we will forever spiral into the blackness of self-reproach each time we see a new book on the shelves.

There is no cure for vertigo and the only treatment I'm aware of amounts to deliberately throwing yourself backward and beating your head against the mattress to dislodge the tiny crystals in your ear that have become trapped, thereby making your world severely imbalanced. The treatment is nearly as sickening as the vertigo itself, and it still takes time to recover. Time and persistence.

Heck, yes. Writing is just like vertigo.

Sadly, writer's vertigo is overwhelming enough to send many writers packing away their keyboards for good. How about you? Is your writing life spinning out of control? If so, what are you doing about it? What treatments do you rely on to regain your writing balance? How have you endured the spiral into darkness?

Curious minds want to know.

Cat Woods is a recovering vertigo patient--both in writing and in real life. In fact, she is still fighting the woozy aftermath of her latest bout. However, during her days of bed rest, a new idea came to her, proof that silver linings abound even during the blackest hours. Her advice: "Don't give up, don't give in and hold onto your passions no matter where the journey takes you." For more tips, click on over to her blog, Words from the Woods. Her short stories of hardships and the heroes who triumph over them can be found in every anthology of the Seasons Series by Elephant's Bookshelf Press.

Why You Should Read Your Genre: A Correction

by S. L. Duncan

I know what you want to know. You come here, browsing our various posts, searching for that elusive answer to the question we all asked ourselves (and whomever else would throw us an answer) when first starting out.

What, above all else, can I do to improve my odds of getting published?

There are a lot of answers to this question. A lot of books have been written that offer pages and pages of tricks of the trade and career advice. I've paid for one or two myself. Some of them may work for you, most will not.

But I want to offer you something more simplistic: buy a book in the genre in which you wish to write, and read it.

Revolutionary, right? Okay. Maybe not. You've probably heard it before. If not from me, then from any number of other authors. I’ve been giving that answer every time I’ve sat on a literary panel because, let’s face it, that’s usually the first question you ask. But I’ve come to realize, you’ve been taking my meaning all wrong.

And that’s my fault for not being clear. When I tell you to read a book in your chosen genre, I don’t mean do it so you can learn how those authors did it.

No, no, no. 

First, I’m not even sure by reading a book, you can figure out how that author writes. I could be wrong, here, but if you read my stuff you’re not seeing the process that got me there. The crap sentences. The cut pages. The endless redlining. Don't even look at my trunk. Not to be too cliche, but the journey is everything.  It's the hours learning your craft, the dedication and sacrifice. It's the party you missed and the nights of trial and error. The wadding of paper and the full waste basket. 

Let’s suspend belief, though. Let’s say, somehow, in reading an Andrew Smith novel you figure out how to retro-engineer his writing and learn how to write just like him. His nuance. His voice and word usage and sentence structure. That’s fantastic! Congratulations. The problem is, there’s already an Andrew Smith out there, and he’s doing just fine.

So, let me clarify and restate my answer. If you want to better your chances at getting published, go read a book in the genre in which you wish to be published. Read two. No, in fact, read a shelf worth. Now, in truth, you should be reading them already. And if you have been...well, you've had the answer all along.

And here, dear friends, is why:

You should be reading books in the genre in which you wish to be published because you should love those books; be dedicated to them. Starved to read the next one from your favorite author - if you can even pick a favorite author from the stellar line up of talent sitting in your bookstore's window. Because, here's the deal: if you’re unable to find joy in the books you read, there’s no way you’ll be able to instill that sense of joy in the books you write. That’s what distinguishes good from great.  This is a business of knife-edge margins. Publishers aren’t looking for good. They want the genuine article. They want great.

It boils down to being passionate about your work and passionate about the work your peers are doing. It’s the difference in the Sunday fried chicken dinner your grandmother made and the KFC value box number two.

Put your pen down, pick up a book, and turn a few pages. Find your joy in the words on them. Then take that joy and let it inspire your own words.

If it’s natural and real and honest, you’ll know it. As will everyone else that reads your work.

S. L. Duncan writes young adult fiction, including his debut, The Revelation of Gabriel Adam, releasing August 12th, 2014 from Medallion Press. You can find him blogging on INKROCK.com and on Twitter.

Slow Writing Memes

by J. Lea López

Uh oh... Guess what day it is?

Okay, I won't go there. (But I bet you just said it in your head, didn't you?) Today's post is just a little something fun to get you over those mid-week blahs. Who doesn't like a good meme, right?

My writing process is a little different than some other people. Aside from writing by hand, I'm a slow writer. Quick and dirty drafts don't fly from these fingers. It simply doesn't happen. But there's so many tips, tricks, snippets of advice, etc. encouraging exactly that. I bet you can name a few.

It doesn't have to be right, it just has to be done.

Don't think, don't edit, just write.

Pretty much anything you'll read on a NaNoWriMo message board.

Don't get me wrong, this is a great approach for plenty of people. But it's also a dreadful approach for others. I think it's high time we slow writers have a few sayings or memes of our own to give other slow writers a bit of support.

A lot of effort goes into every word. And I'm okay with that.

We all have to find what works for us with writing. We judiciously apply the writing "rules" because we come to realize they're guidelines more than anything; we find ways to strike a balance between things like genre expectations and the story waiting to be told; we experiment and learn which word processing software works best for us based on what we want it to do. The same goes for pacing ourselves with our drafts.

I've been working with a friend as she works on her current WIP. She's used to the hard and fast word vomit sort method of drafting and can churn out 100,000 words or more in an insanely short amount of time. But she's had trouble editing that down later into something cohesive. With her new story, she expressed some frustration to me about taking longer than usual to get the first draft written. However, she felt more confident about what she had written so far and felt more confident that she was going to avoid the massive wordiness that had plagued her previously. She'd never really considered the possibility that slower could actually be better.

When it comes time to give advice about first drafts, we've all apparently forgotten Aesop's famous moral: Slow and steady wins the race.

I would rather think a little longer and get it mostly right the first time than spit out a bunch of words I'll end up cutting later. Sure, it takes me twice as long, maybe even three times as long, to pen a first draft than some other writers. But I tend to write very clean first drafts. I don't say that to brag. I say it to make the point that it's ultimately the end result--the book--that matters. How you get there is a journey all your own. My pace might not work for you. Yours might not work for me, or for someone else. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're a slow writer, don't feel pressured into adopting a fast draft style if it's going to drive you nuts (which it would for me). I felt awful the first time I attempted NaNo because I couldn't achieve the high word counts the way some other people did. The next year I stopped beating myself up over it because that will never be my process and trying to force myself to do work that way is counterproductive. And guess what? I wrote twice as much that year.

Are you a slow writer? If you are (or even if you're not) hop on over to a meme generator and make some funny, encouraging, or silly writing memes and share them with us! Tweet them to us or share them on our Facebook page.

J. Lea López is a published author of character-driven stories that focus on relationships, from the platonic to the romantic, and never shy away from the bedroom. Follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

Writing is Exactly Like Selling Tractors

by Cat Woods

 

Tractors are my bread and butter. Not mine, specifically, as I have no experience selling them. In fact, I can barely tell the difference between a tractor and a combine. Yet, after twenty-plus years of marriage to an Ag Manager, I know a thing or two about Dear Hubby's expectations for his sales force. 

 

Basing my marketing plan off his successful sales model makes perfect sense to me. And once I’m done, you should walk around thinking tractors and books aren’t really all that different.

 

• Writing is a product. Books, like tractors, must provide the buyer with their heart’s desire.  Each novel, picture book or how-to has a purpose. It may be sheer entertainment, or it may have educational value. Regardless of why it is written, the end product is useful. Just like a tractor is to a farmer. The more useful you can make your product, the better opportunity you will have to sell it. Writing for kids? Why not include educational aspects that teachers can build on in the classroom--a topic RC Lewis wrote about here. Got horses? Find a way to appeal to 4H students.
• Writers must know their genres. Field marketers must know their tractors. Not that I want to buy a tractor, but if I did, I would find myself a reputable dealer knowledgeable about their products. I would never buy a tractor from a business that only sold lawnmowers and garden weasels. Likewise, I would never write a Sci-Fi on time travel using quantum physics as a basis for reality. Though I graduated in the top 10% of my class, I can honestly admit that I am physic-ally illiterate. The moral here: write what you know--or learn what you want to write. Either way, it's a win-win. Because if you don't, you will put out a sub-par product that will not withstand the test of time.
• Writers must have a brand or a platform to successfully sell their books. Tractors have Case IH and John Deere (among others). Some farmers buy on color regardless of the product–simply because of branding. Many book-buyers purchase books based on name recognition. In a side by side throw down, the familiar name almost always beats out the competition. So get out there and get known--without forgetting the power of real-world connections. I was recently asked to speak at a local women's group about my YA. Seventeen members were there. All seventeen bought a book.  
• Authors must be approachable. I would never buy my hypothetical tractor from a curmudgeon. If I walked into a dealership (and I have walked into many) and the field marketer glowered at me, ignored me or was otherwise unapproachable, I would find myself another dealership. A writer must like (or appear to like) her readership. Bashing kids as a nasty breed is not likely to endear me to my potential buyers. And if you think for a second that people aren't looking, you're wrong. How we conduct ourselves in the cyber-sphere, as well as in real life, has a big impact on the way others perceive us. As hard is it might be, we have to learn to talk about ourselves and our writing without bragging--sometimes in the least expected places. Our ability to do this smoothly and graciously can make the difference between selling or sitting on the hypothetical book shelf.
• Writers must deliver. A cool cover blurb might entice me to shell out my hard earned cash on the first book, but if the writing doesn’t equal the promise, I guarantee I will never buy from Author Anita Sell again. Ever! I’ve been married to DH long enough to know that farmers are equally demanding. Bad performance = negative repeat business. Good service = customers for life.
• Authors are field marketers. We must sell our stories, our names and our personalities. We must engage potential readers and be unafraid to put ourselves out there. On a trip up north, I walked into a bookstore and hand delivered--free of charge--one of my YA novels. The three workers--including the owner--were thrilled when I told them it was theirs to enjoy. A potential sale? Maybe. If not, I'm only out a handful of dollars. So I say to you, set aside your fears and take a chance. After all, the worst thing a farmer can do is say no. Readers are no different. 

To become successful authors, we must care about our readership and deliver the goods. Failing this, don’t bother heading to the nearest Ag Dealership and asking for a job. Their field marketers are held to the same high standards.

If we are lucky, our books will grow wheels and drive themselves right off the shelves!

What's in your marketing plan? What scares you about being a field marketer for your own product?

While Cat Woods does not sell farm equipment, she does sell her intellectual property, such as her middle grade novel, Abigail Bindle and the Slam Book Scam, which is slated for release this September. She also sells herself--as an author--and will be speaking at regional Young Writer's Conferences this upcoming year. Her words of wisdom: don't be afraid of seeking out venues for your words, because if you never ask, the answer will always be no. For more writing tips, visit her blog, Words from the Woods. And while you're there, check out the call for submissions for a middle grade anthology on bullying. Because if you never ask, the answer will always be no.

'Twas the Month after NaNo

by Jemi Fraser

‘Twas the month after NaNo and all through the lands,
Writers were massaging cramps out of their hands.
The stories were resting all snug in their files,
Hoping to one day bring readers some smiles.
 
The writers were exhausted, brain-dead and worn out,
Only raising their heads when others bothered to shout.
Fed up children and spouses fought for attention,
But writers only used that as fodder to increase the tension.
 
“It’s December!” they shouted, “It’s time for St. Nick,
You have to prepare and you have to be quick!”
Lifting their heads from desks with the blurriest of eyes,
The writers considered a multitude of lies.
 
But writers are persistent, hard-working and smart,
As one they declared, “It’s past time to start!”
With NaNo as practice, they outlined their chores,
Drafted their lists and headed out their front doors.
 
They searched and they shopped and they bought and they wrapped
They baked and they cooked and they prepped and they napped.
Like good ol’ St. Nick, they enlisted their crew,
With NaNo as training, there’s not much they can’t do!
 
Writers finished their lists with extra time on their hands,
And thoughts turned to NaNo with revisions and plans.
The story was settling, marinating with time,
With lots of revisions it soon would be prime.
 
So the chaos of the season has its own special gift,
Allowing the story to simmer and ideas to sift.
For great writers know without any doubt,
Stellar stories never follow the easy, short route.

So enjoy all the chaos and family and fun,

Give weary brains a rest and get other things done.
Sit back and enjoy the season shining so bright,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good write!

(With apologies to Clement Moore and the wonderful folks at NaNoWriMo!)

Here at From the Write Angle, we're going to take the rest of the week off to enjoy some of that shining season with our friends and families. We hope each and every one of you find something wonderful to celebrate this season! Best wishes to all!

Jemi Fraser is an aspiring author of contemporary romance who is currently emerging from a NaNo coma. She blogs and tweets while searching for those HEAs along with a gingerbread cookie or two.

3 Query No Nos

by Jemi Fraser

I haven't talked about queries for a while here, so I thought I'd jump back in the pool with 3 things I've found DON'T work.

No No #1

Describing your story.

The Fellowship of the Ring is an epic adventure set in Middle Earth-a land of hobbits, wizards, elves and dwarfs. When an unlikely hero inherits an heirloom of awesome power he sets out to destroy it. Along the way he discovers life is more than second breakfasts and friendship is the most powerful weapon of all.

Yawn.

LotR is one of my favourite stories - definitely NOT yawn worthy! Don't tell your story, show it. Start with your main character and the trouble he/she faces. Draw us in!

No No #2

Character soup.

When Jonah Williams discovers a talking salamander named Leopold, he can't decide if he's losing his mind or about to make a fortune. When Leopold decides Starlight, the pet frog of Jonah's nemesis Charlie is his true love, Jonah needs to act quickly. Enlisting best friends Shari and Kyle, Jonah concocts a plan sure to not only bring him fame and fortune, but keep Leopold a single salamander heartthrob forever.

Who?

Okay, obviously that one's made up and way over the top, but limit yourself to the bare minimum when naming characters in a query. The main character (or characters if it's a romance) and the villain are the most important. If someone else is mentioned, try to stick to an identifier instead (his mother, her publicist, the police officer...).

No No #3

Sucking up.

From reading your fabulous and helpful blog, I know you're interested in Mermaid Gothic Romances. I want to thank you for taking the time to help new writers like myself. Working with you would be an incredible opportunity and I hope you feel Fin's Castle would fit your wonderful list.
 
*shudder* No one likes a suck up. Keep it real and honest. Be yourself.

Hope those help you out a bit! Do you have another Query No No to add?

Jemi Fraser is an aspiring author of contemporary romance. She blogs and tweets while searching for those HEAs.

Voices in Time

by S. L. Duncan

When asked, most editors say what draws them to a submitted project is voice. Don’t you just hate that? Because, inevitably, when asked what defines a good voice they sort of shrug their shoulders, don their beret, take a large puff of cigarette and say, “Je ne sais quoi.”

Well, they do in my head at least.

There’s been a lot of excellent coverage of what voice can be here at FTWA, so feel free to review that for a moment. The kind of voice I want to talk specifically about, is the voice necessary to tell a story that takes place in a different time period.

So on the elements of what voice is, or can be, let me add this: authenticity.

I’m turning in my second book to my agent this week and the last thing I did was take a final read and make sure that the voice is authentic to the time period. A great way to see how the times affect voice is look at recent decades. Compare how kids spoke in the 80s to how they speak now. Slang aside, there are subtle differences in how they relate to each other. Do they lock eyes and twirl their gum when they speak, or are they focused on their iPhone, droning on like a zombie?

And it isn’t just vernacular. Society and culture influence voice as well. Take a 1940s London fourteen-year-old. The scarcity of that time and the living day to day in a harrowing environment grants a certain patience and appreciation for things, which should show up in the voice of the character.

So how do you get there? How do you make a voice authentic to its time? I looked at old newspapers, movies from the era, and radio recordings. The best are archived private journals. But, wait! What if your time period is waaay back? Keep digging! Look closely at all aspects of the culture. Crack a history book or two. Read, read, read, books from leading experts in the field.

All these things will play a part in the voice of the story and your individual character's voices. A good example is Sophie Perinot's work. She captures the tone and voice of her time period perfectly, but she does the research.

And I know I said it before, but you gotta read. Read stuff that's similar to what you want to write. Read in your genre. Read brilliant books, and just as importantly I think, read horrible books.

Authentic voice is a lot of things. There isn’t really any one way to master it, and more often than not, it kinda just happens after you've put in the work. Take the time, though, if you’re writing to a specific moment in history to really get in the head of that moment in history. You’ll be surprised at how it affects the voice.

S. L. Duncan writes young adult fiction, including his debut, the first book in The Revelation Saga, due in 2014 from Medallion Press. You can find him blogging on INKROCK.com and on Twitter.

Resolved

by Sophie Perinot

Writers, like non-writers, often mark the New Year by committing themselves to a collection of resolutions, usually in the form of an earnestly drawn-up laundry list of thing we want to accomplish to forward our work in progress and our careers.  For example, “write 2,000 words a day” is, I would posit, the writer’s equivalent of the average person’s “lose ten pounds.”

I am skeptical of the power New Year’s resolutions.  I think they have, for the most part, forgotten where they came from, and so have we.  They have become nothing more than vague promises we make ourselves at a particularly optimistic moment (when the world is new again and everything seems possible).  And if we don’t keep them later. . . well. . .

Yep.  Pretty darn useless.

This year I suggest that we—wordsmiths by trade—cast our minds back to the root of the term resolution—the word “resolve.”  Resolve is powerful indeed.  True resolve impresses and gets things done.  Take a look at this definition (from Merriam-Webster):

Resolve (noun): 1) fixity of purpose: resoluteness.

Pow! That’s an old-fashioned, commanding concept.  I sit up straighter just reading the definition, don’t you?

So, instead of picking half-dozen specific writing resolutions in these first days of 2013, jotting them down and promptly forgetting where I’ve stuck them, I am going to rediscover my fixity of purpose (I know I set it down somewhere—maybe behind the pile of research books).  When I locate it, I am going to wield it like a sword and treat my work with the urgency and determination that true resoluteness demands.  If (or rather when because set backs are inevitable) I fail to meet the weekly goals for my latest manuscript I am going to recognize my justifications of this failure for what they are—excuses.  Pitiful excuses.  I am going to remind myself that this is a job.  A real work ethic and not just good intentions are needed to get it done.

That’s how I am starting 2013—as a taskmaster who knows true resolve generally involves perseverance, suffering and even self-castigation, NOT as a starry-eyed, optimist who believes that wishing something done will make it so.  How about you?

Sophie Perinot's debut novel, THE SISTER QUEENS (which tells the story of two 13th century sisters who became the queens of England and France) released in 2013.  She is currently working on her Sophomore novel, a task that requires considerable resolve. You can find Sophie at home here, or on Facebook at her author page or the page for her novel.  She is also active on twitter.

The Super Askgiving Publishing and Writing Questions Call Out

By Jean Oram and the whole From the Write Angle crew

Does something have you stumped about writing or publishing? Is there something you've always wondered about, but haven't found anyone to ask?

If you've got questions about writing and publishing this is your moment! (Even if you think you don't have any questions, this is still your moment!)

Details on the Askgiving Super-Mega Thank You to Our Readers Post

As a thank you for reading From the Write Angle, we would like to help you out this Thanksgiving. (Or… Askgiving you may call it from now on.)

Starting today we're asking you to send us your publishing and writing questions. It can be silly, curiosity-driven, deep, secret--whatever! The fifteen of us here at From the Write Angle have a wide variety of writing and publishing experience and would love to share our knowledge, tips, opinions, and expertise.

For example, we have experience in the following areas (as a few examples off the top of my head--you aren't limited to these topics): query letters, synopsis writing, grammar, short story writing, freelance writing, editing and editors, social media, nonfiction platform building, literary agent relationships (not dating them, but getting them, breaking up with them, working with them, communicating with them, etc.), getting The Call, blogging, working with a publishing house editor, handling book reviews, book cover design, starting your own indie publishing/writing business, author website design, Young Adult trends, self-publishing, the erotica market, writing/submitting for magazines/newspapers, balancing writing and 'real' life, NaNoWriMo, research for your novels, the children's market (MG and picture book), conferences, writing your pitch, writing scripts for television and movies, hiring an editor, starting your own author newsletter, the future of publishing, marketing/publicity, and much, much more!

All you have to do to is pop your question in the comment section of THIS POST. Or, if you would rather, you can email us your question at fromthewriteangle@gmail.com. (Please put ASKGIVING in the subject line so we don't miss it.)

You have until midnight Monday, November 19th, 2012 to ask your question.

On Black Friday, the day after American Thanksgiving, i.e. November 23rd, we will publish a new post here on From the Write Angle that will include your questions (anonymously) and our replies.

Thank you. We look forward to hearing your questions. If you have friends who have burning questions about writing and publishing, send them our way. The more the merrier around the From the Write Angle Askgiving table. (Pass the pie!)

Thank you for reading From the Write Angle.

NOTE: Questions and comments are now closed. See you on Friday for our replies.